Engagement etiquette: 6 (false?) truths

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There are few topics with so many myths spun around them as wedding proposal. But what's true etiquette – and what can you just forget about?

The engagement ring should cost as much as two months' salary.

It is a persistent myth that the value of an engagement ring should be roughly equivalent to the value of two net monthly salaries. In fact, for some people, the monthly salary – or the general financial situation – is a benchmark in determining the diamond ring budget. However, in a recent study from the United States - the country of largest-diamond-possible - 69% of all women agree that the budget is primarily determined by what is affordable and what the ring symbolizes.

Tip: How to find the most beautiful engagement ring in your personal budget.

The engagement should be as big an "event" as possible!

Who doesn't know them, the videos of sensational marriage proposals in front of a large audience circulating on social media? But is this kind of proposal the right one for her?

In fact, according to a survey, only a limp 4% of all women want a pompous public proposal. A full 84% would like to have a private proposal for two or in a small circle of family and friends.

Tip: Not only the proposal, but also the ring itself should fit your future wife. In the Style Quiz, we give you an idea of what design might suit her.

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The man should propose.

For homosexual couples, it usually depends on the unique dynamics of the relationship who will propose marriage. The situation is different for heterosexual couples: Here 79% of women want their future husband to go down on one knee. Only 12% have no problem taking the proposal into their own hands – and 9% would do so if their boyfriend takes too long.

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It should be a surprise what the engagement ring looks like.

Up to now, marriage proposals are usually planned as a surprise. What nevertheless does not have to be a (complete) surprise is the ring.

An engagement ring is meant to be worn every day for a lifetime – together with the wedding ring. So what if your future wife doesn't like the ring or it doesn't match her style 100%?

Such a debacle is very easy to avoid:

  • Watch out for hints! Nearly 70% of all women say that they drop remarks to their partner or have already told friends and family about the design they would like to see. A very hot tip is also Pinterest: Many women create boards here years in advance on which they collect wedding ideas.
  • Think carefully about the style and gold color that suits you best: Do the style test and see which jewelry your future bride wears in everyday life: Rather minimal or sparkling? Yellow or (silver-looking) white gold?
  • In case of an emergency: What to do if she doesn't like the ring.

One more tip: How about a proposal without a ring - which can then be selected together?

Who pays for the engagement ring?

According to a study in the USA, 58% of women in heterosexual relationships believe that the cost of an engagement ring should be borne by the man alone. Like the setting of the budget itself, this view is a personal matter. In times of emancipation and equality, however, 16% of women see no reason why the cost of the ring of their dreams should be carried by the partner alone.

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The more expensive the ring, the bigger the diamond.

It is no secret that the size and price of diamonds rise together. What many people forget, however, is that it is not only the size (measured by carat weight) alone that determines the value of diamonds. The main characteristics of carat, purity, color and cut, when combined, determine the price of a diamond. However, a diamond does not have to occupy the top ranks of the scale for all four criteria: Often you can save a little on color and purity in order to get a larger diamond for the same price. Sound complicated? It is not. Click here for the guide: How to find the most beautiful diamond ring at the best price.

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